Let's Talk, Shall we?

For Canadians - today is one day a year that we all know what the phrase "Let's Talk" is about. Bell, the phone company, has decided that on February 12 they will be donating money towards mental health awareness, research and care for every text or long distance call sent on their network, as well as every tweet with the hashtag #BellLetsTalk. It's the one day of the year that I'm sorry I'm not with Bell as my cell provider because I'd be texting the HE-double hockey sticks out of their network today.

I've heard over and over again that the #1 lie everyone tells is this: "I'm fine." and I honestly believe that's true. So often we smile, lie and move on because we either don't believe that anyone else wants to know our issues or problems, or that they don't really care. Maybe that's true in some cases, but let's stop lying to each other and especially to ourselves.

Grieving and Moving forward.

It may sound silly, but I feel like writing this post is necessary for my current grieving process. Sometimes, the best thing about a blog is that you get a chance to get everything out at once. It's not a conversation with someone (though those are often awesome as well), you can cry and keep on typing, you can edit how you say things (without your readers ever knowing that you aren't so clever the first go-round all. the. time.) and you can blog about difficult things, and move that little bit forward in a tough situation without having to sound calm, and collected, and any other manner of emotions that you're not.

Dear readers, some of you may know, many will not, that I have had a "tough go of it" (as my Grandmother would say) lately. And I know that there will be parts of this story that get left out, there will be parts that aren't chronological, and to be perfectly honest, no matter who ends up reading this, the reality is, it may not be for you. The reality is that this blog post is for me.

As I sit here to write this, I am almost 2 weeks post-op for an emergency surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Layman's terms: I had surgery because I had a pregnancy that implanted in the tube instead of in the womb, and it burst, and bled. A lot. It was dangerous. It was potentially fatal. It was scary.

Whoa whoa, back up the truck, you might be saying. Or perhaps you're just staring at the screen. Don't worry, I'm not going to use a lot of medical terms, and I'll try not to give out too many "gory details", because I don't actually want to talk about the physical surgery here much. Believe it or not, that's not the hard part.