So, when I was young, we did a youth musical at our church (actually, we did a bunch of them, but this one sticks out right now) and one had a song that went like this "This rollercoaster ride of life, lifts you up and lets you down. This rollercoaster ride of life, spins you round and round and round. Heaven knows, wherever you go, He will be there by your side. On this rollercoaster ride, of life."
Now, obviously, as teens, we all totally related to this. I mean, when in your life are your more on an emotional rollercoaster than when you're a teenager. But this past year has been as much of an emotional rollercoaster as any time in my life.
Right now, I'm in the process of switching to a new medication. Fun, wow - right? ugh.
The one I'm currently on isn't exactly helping with my spastic anxiety, and the side effects of going off of one medication in prep for going onto another are seriously difficult. So I find myself praying a lot, "God, are you with me? Because this rollercoaster isn't fun."
I worry, about everything, all. the. time. Apparently, that's what Generalized Anxiety Disorder is.... but knowing that doesn't make it any better. And now that I'm in the process of switching medication, I worry about my kiddos. Is the littl'un going to remember me as being crazy spastic Mommy - who has weird emotional mood swings, who is upset by the littlest thing. I'm telling you, when you worry constantly and every little thing upsets you, living with a 3 year old is especially trying. And that's not his fault. And that feeds right into the depression and guilt complex that I have. Oh joy.
This ride, - it's getting old.
Stop the world - I wanna get off.
Plus, I'm out of tea.
Tea.
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Trisha,
ReplyDeleteYour boys will have lots of wonderful memories of homemade cakes (and jams ... and rice pudding), Easter eggs hunts, family gatherings, farm visits, movies on the couch, great Halloweens, and homemade costumes, to name just a few!
They will also remember how to be brave when times are tough. And they will remember to seek out help when they need it. And they will remember that people stick together when the going gets tough. And they will remember that you can laugh sometimes, even in the midst of the hard times. They will remember that sometimes the greatest prayer is, Help God! And tea ... they will also remember to drink tea!
Praying for you my friend ... and wishing I was closer so I could bring you some tea!